The beginning...

Aiden came three and a half weeks early on the day before Easter. Surprisingly, for my anxious, routine-oriented self, I wasn't the least bit stressed about it. Because Aiden was born early, the doctors wanted to ensure that he gained weight quickly. Nighttime feedings were exhausting, but I never felt frustrated or upset. I remember only feeling love. 'Oh, he is crying and I have to get up? Awesome!!! because I am a mother to this precious, wide-eyed baby.' Aiden was an easy baby. I was working in a stressful job at the time, as a teacher to students with Emotional Disabilities. I taught straight through the day, but snuck into the bathroom to pump, so that I could provide nourishment for Aiden. I learned to juggle work and family and took both of these jobs very seriously. As much as I wanted things with Aiden to continue to be easy and only joy-filled, they weren't. Once Aiden began to walk, he demonstrated a zest for life and a constant need for sensory input. He could not stay still. At times, as he grew older, I worried that he might have autism or ADHD. Around middle school, I finally realized what it was. He had very serious anxiety and OCD. He wanted so much to fit in and to be like everyone else, but his anxiety held him back. His anxiety also got him into trouble when instead of facing his fears, he ran. Aiden was always a runner. When he felt cornered, he ran. As the years progressed, my worries about him began to calm. He was maturing and learning how to work with the constant noise in his head. During his freshman year of high school, I thought that he had finally made it through the hard times. He was a straight-A student, involved in clubs ranging from Fellowship of Christian Athletes to FBLA, and he was on the school golf team. He had friends, plans for his future, and he seemed so happy. I could never have imagined how the rest of his story would go. To be continued...

Aiden faced the challenge of having a substance use disorder and a behavioral health disorder. To learn more about co-occurring disorders, visit: https://www.shatterproof.org/learn/addiction-basics/addiction-mental-health-trauma